I’m done with today and I’m done with tomorrow. I don’t want to go to sleep because visions of another life, another me, hunt me and drag me down. I’m not who I should be, what I could be and every part of myself disgusts and annoys me. I’m tired of myself and I feel alone, but I can’t let anyone close because I’m not worth the time and effort and I pushed everyone I truly cared about so far away that there is no chance of ever going back to how it was and how it could have been.
ReblogMar 05, 2014 - 10:54 pm - 0 notes
And I don’t act this way to hurt others, I act like this to hurt myself, to make myself suffer for something I don’t see and don’t know and there is no reason, no sense, no meaning behind all this. And I’m absolutely convinced that I deserve all this, I’m convinced that I deserve even worse and I can’t explain this to anyone because I don’t understand this myself. I wish I could stop this endless cycle of hope and despair and I wish I could look in the mirror and find one thing I like about myself. And I wish I hadn’t these thoughts of complete self-destruction.
And right now I wish I would have quit long ago…